Bachelorette Notes & Obituaries, S15 E2

Episode 2 of Hannah’s season of the Bachelorette took us on a journey from pageantry to tossed chicken nuggets. Here are a few of my thoughts on the episode:

Tyler G is of Acceptable Quality

Hannah had her first one-on-one with Tyler G. They rode around on ATVs in the mud, then sat on a couch and had a boring, but nice enough chat. It was all fine, but I don’t see Tyler G making it to the end.

Luke is a Dirtbag

Luke really brought his A-game with the garbage behavior this episode. It started during the group date when Alaska was coaching him for the pageant and asked him what his greatest asset was. He responded, “my character.”

For his “talent” he announced that he is “starting to fall in love” with Hannah from the pageant stage, then arrogantly sauntered over to kiss her.

Hannah, rightfully, had a chat with him wherein she pointed out that it is a little much to say that you love someone you met a couple of days ago. Hannah then, wrongfully, completely believed him when he insisted that he really meant it and that he loved her before he met her. He thinks he dreamed heeerrr into liiifeee.

The dirtbag behavior continued later in the episode with a steamy (creepy) massage session that ended with some clothing removal and a walk-in from Jed.

Hannah Has Dirtbag Blinders On

In episode 1 we learned that Hannah will not put up with men who are trying to manipulate her. You go, girl!

In episode 2 we learned that she has literally zero ability to use her own judgement to decipher when someone is trying to manipulate her. It’s looking like she may need Demi and Katie to show up in a van during every episode.

Cam is a DUMDUM

Cam made it clear that he isn’t “here to make friends” by busting in on a group date that he wasn’t invited on and stealing some quality time with Hannah. A series of guys then took turns confronting him about it with varying levels of eye contact and passive-aggression.

Later in the episode, Cam interrupted a chat that Hannah was having with Kevin. He had a chicken nugget feast laid out, surrounded by rose petals. But instead of asking if he could “steal her away,” like the average doofus would do, he went full DUMDUM and invited Kevin to join the chicken nugget feast as well. It was extremely weird, and understandably frustrating to Kevin.

Kevin later confronted Cam in front of a handful of the guys, saying “I think with the whole chicken nuggets thing, you can honestly just go f&%$^ yourself, dude.” Then he TOSSED THE CHICKEN NUGGETS STRAIGHT AT CAM’S FACE AND BOSY. This act somehow combined passive-aggression and actual physical aggression in a way that that can only be called art.

Mike is The Best

Mike was just sipping wine and laughing in the background of every conflict in this episode, and I loved it. In the words of Alaska, “I’m team Magic Mike.”

Jed is a Precious Angel

Jed unwittingly walked in on Hannah and Luke P’s upsetting massage session. He had every right to be annoyed and disappointed, and I imagine he was, but he outwardly kept his cool and was extremely kind. He said, “going around being jealous or worried has never paid off one time in my life.”

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