Hannah and her final four men head to Greece this week for overnight dates. The episode brought us steamy massages, uncomfortable intrusions into family meals, scripture fighting, and the answer to our windmill mystery. Let’s get into it!
Peter, The Airman, Takes to The Sea
(Before we get too far into Peter’s date, let’s address the “allegations” that have come out from a previous girlfriend. His last girlfriend before the show says that Peter broke up with her soon before filming, without explaining why. Here’s the thing – if you would rather be on a TV show than stick with a current girlfriend/boyfriend, you probably aren’t really that into them. And yes, that probably didn’t feel great to the girlfriend, but he did officially break things off with her, which is very different from Jed’s situation, where he did not break up with his girlfriend and promised to return to her after filming.)
Before meeting up with Peter, Hannah tells the us that the Fantasy Suites are not all about sex, but about spending time together in a real and raw way without cameras around (which sounds a lot like sex to me).
Hannah and Peter meet in Crete, and in an effort to throw him off balance, she takes him out on a sailboat. Unfazed by the change in atmosphere, Peter says, “I don’t know if I like kissing you on a plane or boat better.”
Peter tells the camera how totally open and raw he is with Hannah. There are moments, he says, that he just wants to scream about his feelings for her!
Peter and Hannah spend the daytime portion of their date rolling around and making out on the deck of the sailboat, while crew members wandered around in the background.
At dinner, Peter again has trouble telling Hannah that he loves her (despite his urges to scream about his feelings). His speech went something like this:
“So remember hometowns? My family was really invested in you and I am really invested in you. It feels so good being with you, and I just love… being with you. And I love… uhh… remember when we were flying? I loved flying with you because it really showed me how much I like you and how much I love… the way I feel with you (Hannah is clearly like, ‘GET TO IT’) Anyway, you inspire me and you challenge me and I… I… love you!”
It was a long journey, but he got there eventually.
Following dinner, Hannah and Peter walk to their room, which is in…. A WINDMILL!!!!
After weeks and weeks of previews showing Hannah tell Luke that she “f*%#ed in a windmill,” leaving us to wonder who the heck she has a windmill date with, the mystery is officially solved. Peter in the windmill.
Tyler, The Seaman, Stays in The Sea
Tyler and Hannah spend the daytime portion of their date getting massages. Tyler took over for the masseuse massaging Hannah, and that predictably turned into a make-out session that was so spicy, I literally had to look away.
At dinner, Tyler gives his obligatory Tyler-line, “I want to just run with this and see where life takes us, because I am on top of the world right now.”
Instead of swooning and falling into his arms, Hannah responds by telling him that the only way she will go into the fantasy suite with him is if they do not have sex. She is confident in the physical side of their relationship and wants to use the time to focus on a deeper connection. Tyler tells her that he not only respects her boundaries, but that he celebrates them, because he is an angel sent straight from the heavens.
The following morning, Hannah says that Tyler was the most respectful man she has ever been with. In case you were wondering what “celebrating her boundaries” would look like – throughout the night, if they were kissing, he would pull away and hold her saying “this is the best night ever.”
Jed, The Troubadour, Doesn’t Actually Sing For Once
Jed and Hannah spend the daytime portion of their date crashing a family gathering. While enjoying an awkward meal with the random family, a woman starts grilling Hannah about where things are going, asking her how she plans to choose a husband. Hannah awkwardly stumbles through some vague answers while Jed sits beside her looking like this:
As soon as he gets a chance, Jed pulls Hannah away from this awkward meal to have a “private” conversation with her. He tells her that he is struggling with the fact that she has continued to keep Luke around. Hannah, very honestly, tells him that her connection with Luke has been strong since the beginning and that she hears his concerns, but wants the chance to figure things out for herself.
At dinner, Hannah thanks him for being so open and raw and asks, “we good?” which means, “let’s move on,” but Jed wasn’t quite ready to move on. He presses the issue again, this time saying things like, “if you are this close to finding a husband, why hold on to something so uncertain?” and “I feel like you have a hard time letting go of the things that aren’t good for you in your life.” He questions her decision making skills, saying, “it says a lot about your decisions when you can keep me around and tell me you love me and still keep around someone who is toxic to you and everyone else.”
Jed’s word choices were a little harsh, and Hannah was clearly hurt by them. But, I have to say, I am pretty sure every person watching this show has been increasingly concerned about her judgement each week that she has kept Luke around, so I can’t say I disagree with him.
Hannah, clearly frustrated, walks away from the table to clear her head. Jed gets up and follows her and they work things out pretty quickly.
Jed tells the camera that he is glad he told Hannah the raw truth.
Luke, The Churchman, Gets Taken To Church
Before Hannah’s date with Luke, she says that despite all of the drama with him, he is at his best when they are alone.
The daytime portion of their date is spent wandering around beautiful Santorini. It’s definitely the best day-date, sadly wasted on the worst of the dudes.
At dinner, we finally get to the thing everyone has been waiting for all season – “let’s talk about sex.”
Hannah begins the conversation open and ready to talk, but the way her face drops as she realizes where the conversation is going brought us this gif that will be eternally useful:
Luke tells Hannah that he loves that they are both spiritual leaders in their families (cool! great!), then says, “I want to be sure that it’s known, from now on, how things are supposed to be” (ummm…). He says, “I am confident that we are on the same page with our morals, but I want to hear it from your mouth. There are a lot of people who say they believe in something, yet they live their lives and do things completely differently.”
He then specifically brings up the Fantasy Suites with the other guys, saying that if she were to have sex with any of them, that he would leave the relationship immediately.
When she sticks up for herself rather than crumbling, he instantly backtracks, saying that if she “slipped up” and had sex with one of them, he loves her enough that he would be willing to stay and try to work things out.
He then flips back and forth between these two extremes over and over again every time Hannah challenges him by pointing out that he is not her husband and that her value doesn’t lie in her sexuality.
He goes from “if you were to have had sex with all of these guys just to see what it’s like, I would be like, okay, I’m outta here,” to “if you somehow slipped up and slept with all of the guys, nothing really changes with how I feel about you and what I want for the future.”
Hannah is not having it. She compares herself to the woman caught in adultery and tells Luke that he is holding a stone up against her. She finally lets it all out, telling him how disrespectful he has been to her, himself, and the other guys, and that making her feel like her faith is invalid based on her choices in the Fantasy Suites is the last straw.
“I have given this my all, I have cried, I have screamed, I have struggled. There have been so many times but my heart has not wanted to let you go. I have prayed for clarity and I feel like I have finally gotten it and I do not want you to be my husband.”
She asks him if she can walk him out, but he refuses to stand up and walk out with her. She politely asks him to get up 5 times (I counted!) before he finally obliges.
As they stand in front of the limo (minivan), Luke tries one last time to turn her around by telling her that he loves her and sees a future with her, saying “I don’t care that you think you have clarity on this – I think that you don’t,” again – completely unable to respect her wishes or boundaries.
Thankfully, this time, Hannah stands her ground. This is the point where she tells him that she had sex in a windmill. This is, granted, a little bit harsh and intense, but after watching the scene a second time, I saw that some of it was coming from a place of desperation to get him to leave. She was asking him over and over and over again to leave, and he was flatly refusing, so she said something that she thought would actually make him want to bounce (it worked!). He asks her if he can “pray over her” before he leaves. She says no.
I have struggled to put into words why Luke’s behavior has bothered me so much, because I am completely on board with someone choosing to abstain from sex outside of marriage. I am even okay with someone wanting to find a partner who shares that same standard. I also think it’s normal to struggle when a person you love is potentially having sex with people that are not you. But the way Luke has talked about these things, combined with all of the other obnoxious and manipulative behavior has just been too much.
Luke’s way of talking to Hannah has consistently been disrespectful, shaming, and scary. He tries to make Hannah believe that his brand of spirituality is better than hers and that she must fall in line with his beliefs and desires in order to be valuable to him. Looking for a spouse who shares certain values with you is one thing, but making a woman feel like her value lies in whether or not she measures up to your standard is a whole ‘nother (awful) thing.
I could go on and on about it, but it has been beaten to death at this point. So my last point will be – Sean Lowe.
Sean, like Luke, was a man who had sex in his past, but at some point chose to remain abstinent until marriage.
While Sean left out the details about his sexual history, Luke insisted on talking constantly about how much sex he was having before his shower conversion.
While Sean refrained from putting the standard he had set for himself onto other people, Luke has continued to demand that Hannah conform to the standard he set for himself, without discussion.
So, it’s definitely possible to be on this show, be an outspoken christian who cares about abstinence, and not be a huge dirtbag.
Ok. Anyway. He’s gone. Except he’s not, and were going to have to go through all of this again next week.
In case you are interested – Luke did create a Twitter account in order to defend himself while the episode aired (big mistake. HUGE.), so here is the Twitter convo that happened between him and Hannah: